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I was talking to one of my former bosses tonight on Facebook and it just reminded me of some of the craziness surrounding the time when I worked for him. I have many stories about working there, but a few I’ll definitely have to keep to myself.

I was around 22 when I started working at his small Media and Advertising Agency. He only had 3 other employees when I started. Actually, I was never really hired. I just showed up with my laptop one day and just started making ads for some of their clients. I worked afternoons at Wal-Mart, so I went in there from 9-3 beforehand. After a few months, he started giving me a paycheck. And it was the most money I had made to date. I eventually was able to quit my job at Wal-Mart.

I was extremely happy to finally have a job related to computers and design. No more Wal-Mart, no more customers. It was exciting times. The company was on the bottom and we were moving on up. We had a perfect location next to the bank, post office, restaurants and bars. Everything was a quick walk away, and in 2002, banks and post offices were still relevant. If my friends and I decided to go out, we could always swing by the office at 2am, watch some tv and sober up a little.

Although things were good, the company experienced growing pains very fast. On pay day, the sales manager would race to the bank to deposit ad sales money before us, the production guys could get there. Even then, it was the luck of the drawl to see which one of us wouldn’t be able to cash our check. Eventually, the other two guys moved on. I hung on until the end, but at least I didn’t have to worry about bounced checks… for 2 months.

Ultimately, the salaried sales manager was sucking up the profits. He couldn’t keep his sales guys producing, so no money was coming in. In a last effort, the guy took payroll one weekend to a cas ino to try to save the company. Just like in ‘Empire Records’, he failed. I still remember that guys name.

I held on for a few more weeks, hoping I could help turn the company around. I got a new job at Kinkos to pay the bills, but I really wanted this company to succeed. I think I realized it was the end when I came in to work one day and my boss asked if I could help him move. When we had everything in my truck, I asked, “Where to?” and he replied “Back to the office”. Yes, my boss got evicted from his apartment and needed to move all of his belongings into the office. I actually stopped going in after that. I lost contact with him for about 2 years, thinking he would be homeless not too long after.

But, we did find each other a few years later. He is an idea man, and we always try to bounce ideas off of each other. It really is too bad things didn’t work out for us back then, because I think we could have had a great business today, 12 years later.

I’m a new dad, but with all these ‘Back To School’ pictures and posts on Facebook, a few memories and thoughts flood into my head.

I think about all the mom’s who have spent nearly everyday of 5 years with their small child, helping to shape them into the person they’re going to be, and then letting them go out into the world on what I’m sure for most is their first small glimmer of independence. Trusting the school bus driver to get your kid to school safe, trusting the school employees to treat your child as you would, Trusting that your child can handle all the changes.

I still have 5 years to go and this thought is seriously giving me some anxiety. My precious boy… I wish I could hold your hand during that time. I imagine your ever so perceptive eyes taking in all the information as you decide which direction to walk, what words to say, who you will want to be your friends… which girls you’re going to chase on the playground, how intimidated you will be at first. It’s still so much time before this will happen for you, but I already want to take that fear away.

I’m sure it has to be 100x worse for mom’s. Especially a stay-at-home mom like my wife. I can only imagine the separation anxiety she’ll experience. Your precious son, who makes you laugh all day and you are available for their every need will now make someone else laugh, and someone else will take care of their needs. Every bit of the last 5 years has been to prepare your child for the world…. and now, to let someone else take them and shape them into a future citizen.

It’s possible, I just need to focus more on my experience with my first days of school to get through it. I did some silly little kid things…

Like giving all of my matchbox cars away to other students to make friends.

Or the time I peed myself after my first time going to the chalkboard.

Another time I used the wrong restroom. Our kindergarten room had two stalls. One apparently had a little boy painted on the door.

I remember getting mad at everyone when we sang ‘Whinny the Pooh, silly little bear all stuffed with fluff.’ Whinny was my friend and the kids were saying he was stuffed with fluff.

I remember a time when I went to get off the school bus and my mom wasn’t there. I tried to make the bus driver continue her route and drop me off after. She refused, and I had to walk down the road by myself, not knowing where my mom was.

Ha, these were all just in Kindergarten.

Ultimately, I turned out fine, but I would feel horrible if my boy had to experience any of these things. I both want to protect him from those things, and teach him that those things are minor events that will help shape him. Even though I think I’ll have a hard time letting him go out into the world, I have 5 years to worry about it, so I’ll hold him tighter until it’s time.